If You’re Reading This…

.

.

If you’re reading this, you have made it to the last day of 2020.

Congratulations!

What a tough year it has been. From the outbreak of the corona virus pandemic, to a nationwide and global lockdown, from social distancing and practices that have become “the new normal” to record-breaking deaths in a year, from dealing with loss, grief and pain and the shocking turn of events from the #endsars movement in Nigeria…it. has. been. ALOT.

No matter what pain or heartbreak one bears from whatever events, it is true that where there is life, there is hope, there is opportunity, there is chance; A chance to heal, a chance to right wrongs, a chance to start all over, a chance to keep going, a chance to grow… a chance to live.

2020 may not have been the best of years for a lot of us – indeed, our spirits have been tested, pushed beyond limit and probably broken at some point- but you should be proud of how far you have come… not necessarily in terms of what the world counts as achievements and accomplishments, but in terms of how far YOU have come.

YOU have made it and that is all that matters. You may not feel like this year was anything to write home about. You may still be dealing with some unresolved disappointment, blow or pain that the months have thrown at you. BUT YOU are here and YOU are present. YOU should be proud, if not for anything, but for this.

So this is not a piece to help you take stock of how the year has been or one to give “tips” on how to bounce back from a rough 2020 or how to cope with a mentally challenging 2020 or how to set goals compassionately in 2021. While these may be useful, this is a blog post to celebrate YOU, for making it this far and for not giving up.

So here’s to YOU. 🥂

Never forget, the world is better with you in it.

x.

Overcoming Perfection Paralysis; 5 Tips to Help You Get Started

You have composed your first song; you have written your first blog post; recorded your first Youtube video, gathered content to launch your website; tidied up your CV; written your masters’ application essay, put together content for your first webinar/masterclass/event or come up with a brilliant business idea with a stunning business plan and proposal even you are proud of.

You are eager to get the process going.

BUT…

You are stuck.

You are paralysed.

You cannot seem to take any step further because you are plagued by the need to ensure that everything you have done is perfect.

You probably suffer from perfectioniosis and have no one to tell you. Your need for perfection may be your blessing and curse in that your refusal to accept nothing less than your idea of “perfect” helps you produce top quality work, but may paralyse you when all you need to do is just get started.

If you do find yourself stalling intentionally on getting things done, here are 6 tips to help you overcome perfectionism and just get started:

1. Develop a Growth Mindset

“A growth minded person believes that they can learn anything as long as they are willing to put in enough effort into it. If they fail, they would get back up and try again, this time with new knowledge about what not to do. They realize that their potential is only limited by their willingness to work hard and keep trying new approaches until something works.”

A growth minded person takes on challenges, learns from them and increases their abilities and achievements. He or she does not see failure in its raw form and does not get discouraged or devastated by mistakes, but sees each failure as a learning opportunity or as an opportunity to be better and to do better. He/she sees failure not as an evidence of unintelligence, but as an opportunity for growth. He/she is constantly willing to improve, is positive about the future and hopeful that his/her goals would be achieved.

When you develop a growth mindset, you are gradually able to overcome perfectionism as you learn to accept that failures are a part of the process. Your first try is not expected to be superb neither is it expected to be perfect.

“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work-brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.”

Carol Dweck

2. Remember, “Done over Perfect”

This is so important to remember in whatever task or project you may be working on. You may be waiting for the perfect time or the perfect person, or perfect equipment, or perfect result, or perfect scenario. Just stop waiting and get started!

The perfect time is now. Every second you waste trying to “get things together” or “put the finishing touches” is another second that you lose fussing over things that may not matter. Be okay with learning as you go along. No one is ever perfect the first time around. Mastery takes time, practice and consistency. You may be worried about what other people think of the quality of your work, but put in your best and put it out there. How would you know if you do not try?

An excerpt from Jen Sincero’s You Are A BadAss

Also, be okay with welcoming constructive criticisms and feedbacks. Do not take them personal.

3. Avoid Unhealthy Comparisons

Do not in anyway compare yourself to the next person.

Sometimes these unhealty comparisons creep up subconsciously and we waste valuable time dwelling on them and feeling less than competent to handle certain tasks because we are too busy concentrating on the next person’s strengths and not ours.

A growth minded individual realizes that each person has his/her gifts, talents, strengths and weaknesses and has an equal chance at developing same as each individual is unique in his/her own way. Focus on your strengths and develop your weaknesses into strengths. Also, feed your potential.

Time spent watching another person’s progress and comparing to yours, reduces the time you have to focus on your journey and goals.

Remember, comparison is the thief of joy.

4. Fall in Love With the Process

Enjoy the learning process of it all.

Life is in various stages and phases with each one presenting a plethora of lessons you can learn from. You could find that you are so obsessed with end results and expectations within a certain time frame that you get impatient and begin to freak out when the process goes beyond that expected time frame.

Embrace each phase and each lesson that can be learned from life, all the while expecting the best to come and working hard to achieve it. Do not worry about how you are going to be perfect or how it will work out. Just put your head down and do the work. Success will come.

The prize is in the process.

5. Believe In YOU

Seems pretty basic right?

The reality is if you are letting time pass you by and not getting started on your goals, then you do not believe in yourself so much. You have chosen to focus on your weaknesses and not your strengths. You have chosen to listen to the negative “what if’s” over the positive “what ifs”. You have decided that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty/handsome enough or not qualified enough to get things done

The most important question to ask yourself when you get consumed with these self-limiting beliefs and doubtful thoughts is “How true are these thoughts?” Alot of time, we drown ourselves in thoughts that are not true; thoughts and fears that prevent us from getting what we truly want. Your fears are really just that and they almost never come true anyway.

So what are you waiting for? It does not have to be perfect the first time and there is always room for growth and self-improvement.

Stop doubting your greatness.

You can do it.

Just get started!

Watch this book review I did on Jen Sincero’s book You Are A Bad Ass which has given me the inspirational and motivational push I needed to keep going after my goals. (Also, please subscribe to my Youtube Channel)

5 Tips to Help You Cater to Your Mental Health in The Midst of Chaos

The world is currently in chaos.

It is easy to get enveloped in fear and anxiety in these times and with everything happening around us, including the increase in the rise of corona virus cases, it is easy to get overwhelmed with all the bad news flying back and forth globally.

For the first time in a really long time, we really understand what we mean by phrase “the world is a global village” as everyone’s business has now become ours. We are concerned about where people we engage with physically have been (even though most of us are working remotely from home). We are worried about being in the wrong place at the wrong time even if it’s just to step out to stock up on supplies.

Some of us have gotten paranoid or had mild panic attacks at the sound of every sound of a cough or sneeze even when it’s coming from us! Suddenly, our breathing does not feel right and we worry that our immune systems may not be strong to overcome this pandemic. A little spike in our temperature is automatically cause for alarm. We are therefore putting in place safety measures that we hope will protect our physical beings and see us through this pandemic.

However, while it is important to consider and observe every possible safety measure known to mankind to protect your physical body from harm, it is also important to ensure that in this period, especially as you work from home or self-isolate, you do not neglect your mental health.

Your mental health; which includes your emotional, psychological, and social well-being, affects how you think, feel, and act. Your mental fitness or lack of it has the ability to positively or negatively affect vital areas of your life including your physical health. You have the ability to “think yourself sick” in that if your mind continuously conjures symptoms in your head, you may become paranoid to the point that you believe that you have a particular sickness.

The importance of optimal mental health during this period cannot be emphasised. So, here are 5 tips to help you cater to your mental health in the midst of the current chaos.

1. Limit Exposure to News

There is a lot of bad news making the rounds on televisions and in social media. The number of confirmed cases and deaths of this pandemic keep increasing. There are also concerning events simultaneously occurring around the world at the moment.

While it is important to stay up to date and remain informed of current developments as they arise, it is also important to balance and filter the amount of information coming at you.

Too much of bad news can cause untold levels of paranoia, anxiety and depression. So stay informed, but as much as possible, consider limiting your exposure to moment by moment updates in the news. Stay away from fake news; avoid reading and spreading every Broadcast message you receive especially when its from unconfirmed sources.

2. Entertain yourself

You may currently be working remotely from home or on self-isolation and so spend the majority of your day indoors. This may get boring at some point in time.

It’s interesting how most of us who never had a problem with staying indoors for days at a stretch now suddenly feel bored or feel the need to step outside to see what’s going on. Well, I guess there’s something about loving something more when it’s done naturally and without force.

However, given the present circumstances, you will find yourself indoors for days to come. Find new ways to entertain yourself because your normal routines may become boring overtime. Switch things up and research suggestions on things to do.

A few examples are: read new genres of books, write (in your journal or a book you’ve been meaning to work on), listen to music, exercise, create content (make funny videos), take an online course, chat with family and friends online, engage in funny and entertaining threads on social media and watch lighthearted or YouTube videos.

Speaking of Youtube Videos, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel, BooksWithRachelEyo where I review books I’ve read. You can click the link below to entertain yourself and watch my latest book review!

3. Meditation/Prayer

No, meditation is not just about sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed while making humming sounds. Meditation is a lot more than that as it involves a using particular techniques like mindfulness to focus your mind on a particular object, thought or activity. Trust me, it’s a lot harder than it seems.

BUT,

By doing this, you are able to eliminate unwanted thoughts and clear your mind of any overwhelming feeling. You are also able to train your mind to be more attentive, stable and calm no matter the chaos happening in the world at the moment.

What you can do is take five to ten minutes of your day meditating. You can sit in an absolutely quiet place, close your eyes and focus just on your breathing or any other sound. When thoughts try to creep in as they normally would do, you mentally swat them away and maintain that quiet calm.

Praying also helps quiet the mind and keep the brain functional. This is because your body ultimately bows to your mind and the belief system you constantly reinforce therein. If you strongly believe that prayer will bring you peace and comfort, then it will. Prayer does not have to occur in a structured pattern. Just say it as you feel it and your spirit may just feel a tad bit lighter.

4. Keep in Touch with Family and Friends

This is another way to cater to your mental health during this period, especially if you’re self-isolating and alone. Talking to family, friends or loved ones can act as a much needed boost to your mood and general attitude to life.

As much as possible, resist the urge to self-isolate your mind. Reach out to people or friends you have not checked out in a while. Thank goodness for technology as we can now video call and voice call friends and family all over the world.

5. Stay Positive

I will be the first to admit that this may be hard to do right now, given the circumstances and the news that you wake up to every morning but stay positive.

Things may be uncertain or scary right now, but what you have is your attitude and state of mind. Stay positive, think happy thoughts, pray for those in need and stay hopeful.

This too shall pass. ❤️

Stay Positive

Wishing you Love and Light,

Rachel.

P.S.

Photo by Oleg Magni

We need all the positivity we can get. ❤️So, I’ll be sending out daily encouraging emails/newsletters to your email to keep your positivity level right up there, starting Friday, 27th March 2020. Click the link here to receive the daily and weekly emails and share with friends and family.

Free daily encouraging emails/newsletters

MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IS LIVE! | NIGERIAN BOOKTUBER!

Hi Guys!

I’m happy to announce that my Youtube Channel, BooksWithRachelEyo is now live!

If you’re a book lover or you know someone who is, head over to my youtube channel, click the link to subscribe and share as well!

I love discussing books and will be reviewing various genres of books on my channel!

So hit the subscribe button below and let me know what you think!

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg_TNKhdtwK4-BcDOs7j9SA

7 Ways to Deal With Uncertainty

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”

~John Allen Paulos

Dealing with uncentertainty can be tough.

Not knowing what lies ahead or whether you’re on the right path can be nerve-racking. Not having figured out your path or purpose in life can sometimes cause levels of anxiety and stress.

The world is full of different opportunities for the taking and sometimes, you want to be sure an opportunity is for you before you take it; you want to be certain of an outcome to ensure that it is not a waste of time or a failed venture. You want to take a risk, but not too-big-a risk; you want to make your loved ones proud, be successful, fall in love, settle down with a family and be happy.

If you could, you would probably want to see the end from the beginning…just to be sure before taking that step; because some assurance that you’re on the right track and that things will turn out well always comes in handy.

However, life does not always go this way. Uncertainty is the only certainty there is. In other words, you will continue to exist in a space that is filled with uncertainties; not knowing the end from the beginning. You will continue to have “what–if?” questions, doubts and wonder whether it will all be worth it at almost every phase in life.

You may be undergoing a phase of uncertainty in your life or have just completed one phase, uncertain of what the next holds. You may be afraid of the change that comes with the next phase or in fact, have no idea of what it’s supposed to look like.

I am learning a lot about making peace with uncertainties in life and not being able to predict the future. So here are 7 ways you can handle uncertainty.

1. Let go and Make Peace

The first step to dealing with uncertainty is learning to let go and make peace with the fact that you cannot control everything and everyone. While you may strive to have total control over your life and take responsibility for your every action, you do not have total control of life in general.

To deal with uncertain phases in your life, you need to be willing to understand that some things are just way beyond your control and this should be okay. You may be able to control what you say but you cannot control how someone will interprete it; you cannot control another human being’s feelings towards you no matter how hard you try; you can submit your CV for a job application, but you cannot control the HR Manager’s actions; you cannot control your children, your friends or the universe as a whole.

So what do you do? You simply make peace with this fact and take each day as it comes, hoping for the best and working hard to get the best.

2. Trust Yourself

Right now, you may be trying to find your purpose or what on earth you are here for. You may just be waiting for the next best opportunity to kick off the next phase of your life.

Whatever the case may be, you need to learn to trust yourself. Trust your capabilities and believe in you. You are doing your very best to make some good out of life and you will be rewarded for all your hard work. You may be quite unsure of what the future holds and overtime, may have started doubting your capabilities to achieve a task at hand or get that job or get admission into school or start that business or that blog or YouTube channel.

Resist negative thoughts such as “Will I be good enough?”, “Will they like me?”, “What if I’m not accepted?”, “What if they laugh?”, “What if it fails?” and engage! The best way for you to know if an opportunity is for you is to engage with it; try it out.

Most of the time, you do not lose anything by trying, but all the time, you lose 100 percent of the shots you do not take.

Trust yourself. Trust the God in You.

You can do it

3. Breathe

Just Breathe.

Sometimes it can get overwhelming not knowing what the future holds and not having figured things out in your current phase of life. The pressure on you right now may be seemingly insurmountable because a lot of expectations are weighing you down. In your world, you have no choice but to “make it.”

In the midst of all the uncertainty, the drama, the “hustling” and “bustling”, the disappointments and emotional rollercoasters as well as the hopes and expectations, remember to Breathe.

Once in a while, take some time out for yourself. Breathe in and out intentionally. Exhale the stress and inhale the positivity and bright hopes for the future. Take some time out to do things you love, hang out with friends, watch a movie, take in the beauty of life, take periodic mental breaks and stay emotionally and physically present.

It’s pretty easy to get lost in the overwhelmingness of life, planning for a future that you cannot see and striving to put the right things in place. Enjoy each moment life gives you and remember to stay positive.

4. Maintain a Positive Attitude

I will be the first to admit that sometimes, this could be very tough to do in the midst of uncertainty.

However, the good news is that you have a choice. You always have a choice. You can either choose to have and maintain a positive attitude towards life in general and be positive about what the future holds for you or you can choose to be consumed by negative thoughts.

Remember that you attract what you are ready for and what you speak over your life. I believe that words are very powerful, no matter what context they are used. If you constantly speak about how hopeless your reality is and how it does not seem to get better or will it ever get better, then that is what will manifest in your life. However, if you speak positivity into different areas of your life even when you have no clue what the future holds, even when it seems bleak, you will manifest that positivity over your life and reap fruitful rewards.

5. Stay Focused on Your Journey

While it is important to learn to speak positivity over your life, it is equally important to stay focused on your journey.

YOU HAVE TO RESIST THE URGE TO ENGAGE IN UNHEALTHY COMPARISONS.

Put your head down and focus on what needs to be done. Remember that you can only control so much, so do what you can. If you need to tidy up your CV, apply to that school, take a first step towards a business, take a leap of faith or work on a relationship, DO IT. Do what you can control and leave the rest to God.

Believe it or not, everyone is trying to figure life just like you. No one has it all figured out, including the ones who do. We all have uncertain moments and moments of success culminating in individual journeys in life. So do not compare your behind-the-scenes with another person’s highlight reel. If you need to take some time off from social media, do it. If you need to unplug, do it. But remember that it is YOUR journey; it does not have to look like that of another person.

6. Avoid labelling

IMG_4431

Avoid negative labelling when you are going through any form of uncertainty. If you have not gotten desired results in your life after trying a number of times, do not label yourself as “stupid”, “dumb”, “broken”, “not smart enough”, “not good enough”. You also need to refrain from making statements like “I always mess things up” or “I’ll mess this up”.

Your mind feeds into what you continuously tell yourself. Negative labelling does not keep you focused and strips you of the strength to go on.

7. Keep Going!

Most importantly, keep going!

Even in the midst of uncertainty, do not give up, do not give in, do not stop.. Keep going. Keep putting in those applications, keep studying hard for that exam, keep acquiring those skills, keep hoping for the best and feeding your mind with positive thoughts.

You may not have it all together or figured out right now, but that is okay. One day you will, and one day it would all be worth it. So do what you can and stay focused and consistent!

Trust the process. Trust God. Trust your journey and never give up.

Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Love and Light,

Rachel

P.S, 

HOP ON THIS TRAIN!! Free, life-changing, concise, motivational and inspirational weekly emails guaranteed to help start your week right have started going out! Click the link here to sign up so you don’t miss out on anything! https://mailchi.mp/06750630c287/weeklyemails

You Matter; 7 Reasons Why

Hey You,

Yes, You reading this. Right now.

I can only imagine what may be going through in your world. You may or may not have been having a great time this month or year but, I want you to remember that YOU MATTER and here are 7 reasons why:

You are the only You there is.

In a world of about seven billion people, it may sound impossible, but you are the only You there is. You may have unknown doppelgangers littered across the world, strangers with similar talents or friends with like passions. BUT…none of them are You. You are special, amazing and beautiful. You matter because your unique quality is an added bonus to this world.

By just being you, you make a profound difference in this world.”

Your mere existence is an inspiration to mankind

You may think you have to do; do more, do better, be more or be better to inspire someone alive at this very moment. You’re wrong. Your existence alone is an inspiration to many. Whether you have fought a number of internal battles while wearing a perfect smile on your face, or are still struggling to make things work in different aspects of your life, you are an inspiration.

As unbelievable as it sounds because you’re tempted to wonder how you can inspire when you “have not accomplished anything”, remember that you have accomplished life, living, overcoming and drawing in breaths with each moment. You are a source of hope and faith to the silent watchers. While you may wait to have a story to tell, remember that your story is in your existence, your experiences and your birth.

You have the power to heal souls

With simple kind words, a generous act or just a genuine compliment, you possess within you, no matter your age or economic status, the power to heal a soul, uplift a spirit and save a life. People around you hurting in silence and fear can feel a sort of respite just by coming in contact with your being. You have within you, the power to change lives for the better by being you. Some may expressly tell you, others may thank you silently from the depths of their hearts.

Your feelings matter

You matter because your feelings matter. Your emotions, as raw as they may seem, matter. Every fibre of your being matters. Every thought, every feeling, every hurt, pain, joy and laughter matter.

You may have heard words like “oh its just this”, “aren’t we all going through it?”, “people have it worse” or “remember to be grateful”. These may be true, but remember that your feelings are valid. They are not invalidated by another person’s similar or worse experience.

You are loved and needed

You may not feel like it sometimes, but you are loved. You are needed. You are desired. By us. We falter as humans sometimes because we only express our innermost gratitude and appreciation for each other when we are gone, but we are learning. At every phase of your life, you are loved and needed.

You have a voice

With your voice you can move mountains. With your voice you can shake the earth. With your voice, you can start a movement. You matter because you have a voice which you can use to stir the world in a better direction. You can use your voice for good and positively impact people for free.

With your voice putting out positive energy in the world, you can cause a spark that will change the lives of people you are yet to come in contact with. With your voice, you can change the life of a next-door neighbour.

You have a purpose

Instilled in every human being, including you, is a purpose. A unique purpose no other person has. A purpose so valuable that you wonder how “little you” can fulfil it. You were destined for it from the moment you were intricately crafted in the womb.

You watch others executing ideas that seem to align with your purpose, similar to those ideas you crafted in the privacy of your room but have been sitting on for the longest time because of that four-letter-word, HOWEVER, your purpose is unique. It’s what you are on earth for. Do not rule it out saying “someone is already doing it.”

Understanding your purpose and higher calling in life requires patience, self-awareness and introspection. It requires unplugging from the world occasionally and observing quiet times.

“Never ever think that what you have to offer is insignificant. There will always be someone out there who needs what you have to give.”

Please think about these words deeply until you find truth in them. And if you are looking for 50 more reasons why your life matters, read this.

May this new month bring you joy, a lot of reasons to smile from the heart and peace of mind. 🥂

Love and Light,

Rachel

P.S, I am excited to announce that I will be LAUNCHING MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL for my book reviews this February 2020! I love, love, love books and I love discussing them any chance I get. I read quite widely from fiction to non-fictional to psychological thrillers to autobiographies to bildungsromans to self-help and motivational books, I love them all! So if you’re a booklover or know someone who is, you can hit the subscribe button here or share the link so you know when the content drops!

6 Simple Ways to Prioritize Your Mental Health in 2020

You may have penned down your goals/resolutions/action points/ideas…whatever you’re calling it this year, for 2020; some of which may include plans to eat healthier, exercise more, sleep better or just achieve and maintain optimal physical health generally. However, it is important to ensure that you are intentional about your mental health this year.

You may be wondering “what has mental health got to do with it?”

Well, ALOT.

Your mental health; which includes your emotional, psychological, and social well-being, affects how you think, feel, and act. Your mental fitness or lack of it has the ability to positively or negatively affect vital areas of your life.

Furthermore, your mental health helps determine how you handle stress, relate to others, and make decisions in life. It therefore goes without saying that if you are mentally fit, fully present and at peace generally; and if you constantly decide to be happy in the midst of life and its eccentricities, then you are bound to achieve more.

“Your mental health is a priority. Your happiness is an essential. Your self-care is a necessity.”

The importance of optimal mental health cannot be over-emphasized. So, here are 5 practical tips to prioritize your mental health in 2020.

Take mental breaks/Unplug

This year might get crazy; crazy good and crazy not-so-good. You will face challenges, obstacles and probably overwhelmed at some point. Perhaps, it may be from the goals you have set as nothing good comes easy. You will therefore need to take mental breaks periodically to ensure that you do not get mentally burned out.

Mental breaks are great for your mental health in general because they give you a much-needed boost in creativity and productivity. They serve to rejuvenate and refresh your mind so you are not simply existing on auto-pilot mode on a day-to-day basis, “barely makin’ it“. These breaks, if taken the right way, serve to provide a healthy balance between rest and work/productivity in a very busy and distracting world.

Also, when you take these mental breaks, unplug from the world for some time. In a fast-paced world, such as the one we live in right now, it is easy to get enveloped in every distraction available to mankind. While it comes with its perks, the internet and social media have made our connectivity and access all the more heightened. We are connected to everything and everything is connected to us. Access to you has never been easier.

Take occasional social media breaks if necessary; disconnect from the world for a bit. I promise, YOU WILL SURVIVE. Be okay with listening to your mind and thoughts rather than having it crowded with information all the time or being pulled in different directions.

You can read more about why you need mental breaks and 5 simple ways to take a mental break here.

Avoid toxic environments

You need to be intentional about the environments and people you constantly relate with. You need to have the courage to move away from toxic people and environments that are not mentally healthy. If you can stay away from places, avoid certain types of food to preserve your physical health, then you need to be ready to do same to maintain optimal mental health.

When your brain is constantly filled with any form of toxicity such as verbal and emotional abuse, gossip, negativity as well as verbal beat downs, YOU CANNOT BE PRODUCTIVE. This is because your brain does not know the difference between right and wrong. Whatever you constantly reinforce is what it will believe. So if you consistently place yourself in these kind of environments, sure enough, you will begin to think like this.

So what if some of these toxic people are family members? Find a way to manage your relationship with each family member so you do not get mentally dehydrated while dealing with them.

Avoiding toxic environments and people will ultimately help to boost your mental health as you will not be constantly consumed by negativity and toxicity, thereby leaving room to allow you be creative and productive.

Say “No”

It is simply amazing what power this little two-letter word holds and what peace it brings. So I learned this pretty much late in life and used to be so stressed out and burned out due to the loads of commitments and deadlines I would bring upon my self just because I could not say no.

I would inconvenience myself for others to my own detriment and I was constantly unhappy (this is not to say that sacrificing for others once in a while is not good, but there has to be some kind of balance in place)…and being unhappy or constantly burned out is definitely not the recipe for productivity or getting things done; because honestly, if your mind is tired of doing so much all the time, then you’re bound to be moody, irritable, confused, frustrated and lack the necessary concentration required to get things done.

Learn to say “no” once in a while to avoid taking on too much at once and getting burned out. Practice Selective availability. If you cannot do it at the moment, you cannot do it and that is fine. As long as it is not a life-death situation, your mother, brother, sister, friend, cousin, uncle, niece or nephew will be fine. As soon as you unburden yourself, you can help out.

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”
~ Anna Taylor

Meditation/Prayer

No, meditation is not just about sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed while making humming sounds. Meditation is a lot more than that as it involves a using particular techniques like mindfulness to focus your mind on a particular object, thought or activity. Trust me, it’s a lot harder than it seems.

BUT,

By doing this, you are able to eliminate unwanted thoughts and clear your mind of any overwhelming feeling. You are also able to train your mind to be more attentive, stable and calm no matter what may be happening externally.

What you can do is take five to ten minutes of your day meditating. You can sit in an absolutely quiet place, close your eyes and focus just on your breathing or any other sound. When thoughts try to creep in as they normally would do, you mentally swat them away and maintain that quiet calm.

Praying also helps quiet the mind and keep the brain functional. This is because your body ultimately bows to your mind and the belief system you constantly reinforce therein. If you strongly believe that prayer will bring you peace and comfort, then it will. Prayer does not have to occur in a structured pattern. Just say it as you feel it and your spirit may just feel a tad bit lighter.

Journaling

I have been journaling for close to six months now and it has been absolutely amazing!

After my post on how journalling is changing my life and the benefits of journalling, (which you can find here) I have received quite a number of messages from people sharing their journalling stories and how it has helped them alot.

Look…it is something to be tried.

Journalling has been proven to reduce anxiety, clarify thoughts and perspective, encourage mindfulness and self awareness as well as serve as an emotional release, thereby keeping you mentally fit for periods at a time.

Reach out/ Open up

When was the last time you genuinely opened up to someone about your feelings, emotions or just how life is treating you in general? When was the last time you said something along the lines of “You know what, I’m not doing so great?” when a trusted friend or family member sought to know how you are doing. When was the last time you felt light after having purged yourself of any deep-seated emotions that linger within?

I will definitely be the first to admit that it is not the easiest thing in the world to open up or bare your soul to anyone. In fact, it is easier and faster to just mutter a simple “fine” when asked the usual “how are you?”

However, opening up to a trusted friend, a family member, your therapist (if you have one) or even a stranger, boosts your mental health as it purges your brain of any conscious and unconscious mental blocks that may prevent you from living a mentally healthy life.

You should not be ashamed or guilty to open up about what you may be dealing with, including any mental illness or challenges you may be facing. What is unhealthy is holding things in with the expectation that they would just fly away.

Please reach out and open up today.

I hope these tips have been somewhat helpful to you.

Wishing you Love and Light,

Rachel

P.S, Do you want to receive FREE life-changing, straight-to-the point and concise weekly emails guaranteed to help start your week right? If yes, click the link here to sign up so you receive them and don’t miss out on anything! https://mailchi.mp/06750630c287/weeklyemails

Follow Through! + 5 Steps to Turn your 2020 Plans into Action

As the first couple of weeks of the new decade draws to an end, quite a number of us may already be over the “Happy New Year” “New Year, New Me”, “Vision 2020” vibe, that is, if we were even hyped about it in the first place.

You may or may not have penned down the goals you want to achieve in the new year and you may or may not be ready to execute them.

Whatever the case may be, if you’re looking to start acting on those 2020 plans, here are 5 important steps to turn your plans into action!

1. Develop an Action Plan

An action plan is basically a road map you can follow that will get you to your goal. It critically examines and answers the questions “when?’ “what?” “how?” “who?’ and “why” in relation to the goals you set.

By developing an action plan and writing same down, your goal will seem less daunting and more attainable. Your action plan should entail a detailed breakdown of all the steps needed to achieve your goals along the way. By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as you complete it, you will realize that you are making progress towards your ultimate goal. This is especially important if your goal is big and demanding, or long-term.

In my previous blog post, I discussed developing an action plan and how a vision board party I attended helped me reflect clearly on some important questions in relation to my goals here.

2. Decide to be Consistent and Committed

Look, the truth is, you can pen down all the goals in the world, develop a ten-page action plan or hang twelve vision boards in your room with words screaming at you in capital letters. If you do not decide to be consistent and committed to your goals this year, you will fall short.

This is not me trying to be negative or pessimistic. It is just a fact. In order to follow through on your goals for the year, you must decide to be consistent and committed. However, the work is not in the decision but in the follow through. To help with making the conscious decision, you can write it down, stick a little reminder on your mirror or talk to someone about this conscious decision you want to make and implement.

The truth is, making a decision to be consistent is like making a vow. There is really no point in making it if you do not intend to follow through on it. So, before you make a hasty decision, seeing as it may appear simple to do, remember that you will be required to follow through to see results.

For more tips on being consistent and getting things done even when you do not feel like, click here.

3. Develop Discipline

In order to achieve those goals you have set for yourself for 2020, you have to grow and develop in your discipline. Without discipline, accomplishment of goals set will be next to impossible.

Discipline will help you go far and keep you motivated to continue in your goals and dreams for days you do not feel like doing anything. Practice delaying immediate gratification of activities that are not in line with your goals.

4. Conquer Fear and avoid procrastination

In order to smash the goals you have set this year, you need to conquer fear. I have realized that this is as important as the goals themselves. Fear paralyses you and boxes you into a corner, so that you cannot move, cannot act and cannot take decisions capable of catapulting your life in the direction you want it to go.

You must conquer fear and repeatedly remind yourself that you want these goals and are willing to work hard to see results. them. Stop doubting yourself and your capabilities. Do not talk down to yourself or wait to be the smartest in the room before you take a step.

Furthermore, avoid procrastination. Avoid the perfectionist mindset. There is no perfect time. And if there was a perfect time, the perfect time would be now! You do not have to be ‘good enough‘ to start working towards your goals and putting things in place that will help you accomplish same.

“Our greatest fears are just that…our greatest fears

5. Go For It!

There is no time like the present. You’ve got to start somewhere, so dig deep, find your courage and go for it! Your goals will never happen if you don’t take action. It may seem scary to take that first leap. Maybe you’re still working on the details, developing the action plan, thinking it through or are worried you’re not ready.

Plan and ensure that all the necessary preparations are carried out. However, you also need to jump in and continue to figure it out as you go

YOU CAN DO IT!

Love and Light,

Rachel.

P.S, Do you want to receive FREE life-changing, straight-to-the point and concise weekly emails guaranteed to help start your week right? If yes, click the link here to sign up so you receive them and don’t miss out on anything! 

A Fresh Start; Year 2020

Happy New Year Lovely People!!

Congratulations on making it to the year 2020 and thank you for sticking with me and my blog posts in 2019! I am super grateful for your comments, posts, shares, encouraging words and kind feedback.

Welcome to a fresh start and a new decade bursting with opportunities for the taking. Welcome to a joy-filled, peace-filled, productive and goal-smashing 2020 loaded with unconditional love for self and others. Welcome to 2020.

Whatever your journey in 2019 may have been; exceptional, amazing, boring, mind blowing, frustrating, full of growth, nothing to write home about,…2020 presents a chance to start over.

In starting over, you may want to consider some of the following suggestions:

Plan. Prepare. Perform. Pursue. Prioritize

Plan: The year is starting out and you have taken note of what you want to accomplish this coming week, this month and this year. You need to plan. Plan in detail how you want to achieve these goals. Yes, “life happens” on some occasions, but that is no reason to abandon planning. You want to save? Plan. You want to travel? Plan. You want to start a business? Plan. You want to get into school or take a course? Plan.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Prepare: Be prepared for the successes and challenges that may come your way as you achieve those goals this year, lest they overwhelm and shake you. Be prepared to make mistakes and be prepared to fail. Be prepared for delays that my not necessarily be denials. Be prepared to do great things.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”~ Benjamin Franklin

Perform: And when you’re done planning and preparing; when all you’ve consulted, researched, come up with backup plans B-Z…whatever it may be, GO FOR IT! Just go for it. It may not be perfect on the first go and mistakes are bound to occur along the way, but get it done. Be brave enough to start with where you are, with what you have and with what you are. Be brave enough to put yourself out there for the world to see your light. Surround yourself with encouragers, overcome procrastination and go for it!

“Done over good.”

Prioritize: In all of this, do not forget to prioritize yourself. Your health; mental and physical. Take care of your self, of your soul, of your spirit. Exercise, eat healthy, be present in whatever you do. Engage with other human beings and social activities, limit social media consumption and take mental breaks when needed. You are your most valuable asset. Take care of You.

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”

~ Anna Taylor

Pursue: This year, pursue your goals and passion with everything you’ve got; that which sets your soul on fire; which makes you feel alive. Pursue it with all you’ve got even when others do not seem to understand. And when the obstacles and challenges show up, when the going gets tough, remember your why and keep going.

“When the going gets tough, put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. Don’t give up.” ~ Roy Bennet

So here’s to wishing you an amazing, productive, laughter-filled, joy-filled, peace-filled 2020. 🥂

May all your dreams come true!

Love and Light,

Rachel.